Artistic Pretender

Title: Concentrated Effort
Series Title: Wandering Home
Author: FabledFigment
Disclaimer: There is no original content, except for the original content. All Hail Joss.
Timeline: Post BDM plus three years
Rating: R
Series Rating: NC-17

Previous

*

Jayne was right about the seating arrangements. Not only was he next to River, but the table was crowded enough that their legs and arms brushed if they weren’t both leaned away.

Jayne mostly did lean away, but River didn’t always. That made it a mite difficult for him to concentrate on the table talk.

Mal had announced early that they’d be shoving off in the morning. That meant that Ma and Nate Alice were planning up a storm over the threatened social.

Nate Alice even got up to make a wire call to her part of the contact tree. He could almost hear how she’d word it too: Social tonight. Out back my house. J Mike Cobb is home.

Yep, he’d heard and passed on enough of those messages to know how they went. They’d have a crowd by the time dinner was over.

River suddenly poked him hard in the arm.

“Huh?”

“Your mother just asked if you still have that old guitar. I know you do, but you might consider paying attention.” She said dryly.

“Uh, yeah, Ma, I left it in the front room when I came in. Figured I could count on you wanting a party and Mal wanting to leave right away.” He made real sure to follow the conversation after that. Twice he caught the social blowing way beyond reason and reigned it in.

He was almost relieved when dinner was over. They all tromped down to the field behind Nate Alice’s place. The party was gathering within a stone’s throw of Serenity. It made Jayne feel strange, the sight of his home parked so close to Ma’s place. That was even dangerous.

River touched his arm. Somehow she was still right beside him, despite him repeatedly shifting in the crowd to get away from her.

“No.” She said softly. “Not like Haven.”

He looked down at her, a chill in his spine.

Then they reached the field full of people.

His eyes widened when he remembered this was his party and they’d all want to talk to him.

River grasped his arm tighter.

“No panicking.” She pleaded quietly. “I’m armed.”

Jayne snapped himself out of it.

“I’ll be your out.” She offered. “When you can’t take any more, remember you promised me a dance.”

He didn’t even have a chance to decide if he was grateful for that offer before she slipped into the crowd, leaving him to face his past.

Ack.

Starting with the heavily pregnant woman who was suddenly kissing him passionately.

Jayne reminded himself wildly not to panic and drew back from his attacker as gently as possible.

“Ben Janice?” He peered down at her. “It has to be.”

“I’d punch you for that kiss if I hadn’t seen how it started.” Said the big, bearded man behind her.

“K Pete?” Jayne’s eyes widened. He stepped around his ex-girlfriend to hug his best friend. They made it a manly hug with much pounding.

Jayne stepped back to look at them both. They gravitated together.

“You two?” Jayne asked.

Ben Janice laughed and held up her wedding ring. “Since two days after you left. It started with comforting each other.” She reached up and pulled her husband’s arms around her.

Jayne reached forward tentatively to touch her belly.

“This is my fifth.” Janice said softly. “We named the first after you. She has your eyes.”

The quiet words kicked him in the gut.

“You never told me.” He said hoarsely. He couldn't quite feel the anger he thought he might oughta feel.

“I didn’t want you to feel like you had to come home on account of me, us.” She leaned towards her husband. “You always wanted to go…”

“Damn, she must be what? Fifteen?” Jayne shook his head.

“Fourteen last midwinter. Please don’t make a scene, J Mike.” Janice begged.

Jayne scratched the center of his forehead with his thumbnail. “No, I won’t. Does my Ma know?”

“I think she suspects.” K Pete offered. “But we ain’t ever spoken of it.”

“Pete has been a good father to her, treats her right.” Janice said.

Jayne nodded. “She’s here?” He was consumed with the urgent need to look at his daughter.

“Mikey,” Pete hollered. “Bring the kids to meet Uncle J Mike.”

A pretty teen hauled a string of kids forward, rolling her eyes.

“Our oldest, Mike Helen.” Janice introduced. “The boys Joan Thomas and Lila Anthony, the youngest is Greg Sandra.”

Jayne shook each little hand.

Mike Helen might have his eyes, but the rest of her was all Janice. The sight of her calmed him. Keeping her from him might not be 'right' in the eyes of the 'Verse, but Janice'd done exactly what she should have all those years ago.

“You’re the image of your ma, girl.” Jayne managed.

K Pete laughed. “Most people remark on how much she looks like me.”

Mike Helen rolled her eyes again. “Nice to meet you, sir. Can I go now?” She asked her parents without pausing.

“Go on, get.” Pete took the baby from her. “Don’t make trouble, boys.”

They all rushed off to see their friends.

Nate Alice came towards them, bustling like a hostess. “J Mike, we have some chairs set up. You’ll want to head that way.” She gestured. The music was setting up at the other end of the field.

He searched the growing crowd for familiar faces, feeling overwhelmed. He had a kid. Seemed like a bright young thing in that moody teenager sort of way. And she was being raised by some of the people he trusted most in the ‘Verse.

“Janice?” He turned back to her.

“Don’t Mikey.” His daughter’s mother shook her head. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to be there, but she’s happy.”

Jayne nodded. “I wouldn’t have known what or how anyway.”

“You weren’t ready back then. You were long gone before I found out.”

He nodded. “I would have reacted badly.”

“I know.” She rested her hands on her belly.

“I would have come home, married you and made you miserable.” He admitted.

“That’s why I didn’t say at the time.” She agreed. “We know each other that well. Now… now she has two parents who’ve loved her all her life.”

“Three.” Jayne corrected. “But don’t worry. I won’t butt in.”

“Thank you.” Janice kissed his cheek and waddled off into the crowd.

Jayne found the conversation chairs and paused a moment before taking the tallest one. He hadn’t been the center of a social since his eighteenth birthday. That was his coming of age party and he left on a short distance hauler two days later.

Nate Alice brought him a beer and he settled in to talk to everyone he ever knew.

*

River found herself in the dancing area without even trying. The musicians were tuning up. The crowd was bigger than she would have expected for a last minute party. The younger people weren’t here to see Jayne. They were here to party. Any excuse was a good one when you were a teenager on a border world.

River looked around, trying to cope with the array. She needed a focus. Someone to talk to.

“Hello.” The voice was joined by a hand on River’s arm.

River turned around, hand going to Gloria. She relaxed. A local. No threat.

River found herself staring into a familiar set of eyes in an unfamiliar face.

“Hello.” She replied.

“You ain’t from here, are you? Did you come with J Mike Cobb on his spaceship?” The speaker was young but forthright. Her mind revealed that she didn’t consider herself related to Jayne.

“Yes, or rather it isn’t really his, but we both live there.” River realized she was being awkward.

There was a little giggling from the girls surrounding the one who was speaking.

“Is he nice?” The girl asked.

A ‘no’ was on the tip of River’s tongue, but she didn’t say it. This was his home. People should think well of him here. Especially this girl who was probably his blood-daughter.

“I like him.” Was her honest reply.

There was more giggling. These girls were several years younger than her, but she couldn’t remember being so… young.

“Is he really a pirate?” One of them asked.

The rest of them shushed her.

“Almost a pirate.” River agreed. “But no, none of us are actual pirates.”

“You’re almost a pirate too?”

River’s chin rose. “Yes.”

At that moment, the musicians hit a last discordant warmup note and launched into an upbeat song.

The dancing was fast and freewheeling, yet the movements were also very stylized. River felt at home after barely a moment watching and she swung out into the floor with the girls she’d just spoken to.

Once River was dancing she had no worry about the overwhelming crowd. It was just movement and music.

Even time itself slipped away.

Zoë went home with Ma Cobb while the party was still in full swing. Simon and Kaylee went back to Serenity after a brief but embarrassing display of affection. Mal and Inara stormed off separately to a pair of unknown locations after a slightly longer public fight.

Therefore, by the time River went to claim her promised dance, she was alone in the crowd.

Jayne was still sitting in his high backed chair, nursing yet another beer. He was talking over old times with Sheriff Beth Jason and some other men about their same age.

River approached him from across the circle. She didn’t want to startle him into refusing to dance.

She looked around the group, smiling broadly at Webberville’s sheriff.

“Miss River, quite glad to see you again.” The man grinned. “Have you enjoyed our social?”

“Very much. The people are friendly, the music is fine.” She crossed the circle and took the mug from Jayne’s hand for a taste.

“Although I do seem to be missing the partner who promised me a dance. Are you too drunk to dance, partner? I have on my dancing shoes.” She ran the top of her foot up the back of his calf.

“Go on, man.” BJ laughed. “She’ll shoot you if you don’t.”

“Nowhere vital.” River promised, stroking his muscular upper arm. She felt it the moment he decided to stand.

“Them boots got steel toes, girl?” Jayne growled down at her, taking her hand.

She laughed and felt her mirth carry across the crowd. Someone took the beer from her hand. She let them, gazing up at her burly crewmate.

She felt the group’s approval of her as she led her prize away.

BJ, the sheriff, began telling the tale of their earlier encounter to much laughter. His friends thought she would match him well, now that he was getting ready to settle.

Jayne swung her around into one of the lively local dances she’d just learned. He was light on his feet and never once came close to stepping on her. River relished the feel of his hands in hers, on her waist, the occasional contact of their bodies.

After the first, fast song, River made significant eye contact with the band leader. She’d been over to make friends earlier. The next song was the soft, slow number they’d discussed.

Jayne tried to drop her hands and back away, but she hung on, looking up at him.

“It’s just a dance, Jayne Michael Cobb.” She said in a teasing tone.

“No it ain’t.” He hissed down at her. “And you know it.”

“Yes, I know.” She stepped closer, wrapping her hands around his neck. “Which means I’m not about to let you run away, doesn’t it?”

“What the hell?” He pulled them off the dance floor, into a quiet corner of the field. “Why you gotta tease and torment me, anyway?” He grumbled, pulling her hands off his neck. "You've been doing it all day."

“Why do you have to run away?” She countered, leaning into him.

He stepped back and kept stepping back until his backside hit the fence.

“I’ve got a kid here just five years younger than you.”

River flinched. “Closer to six. I met her, she suspects, although she can’t pinpoint why. Your friends have raised her well, but they should tell her.”

“But doesn’t that tell you I’m too old for you?” He asked desperately.

“No.” She frowned up at him. “So you might die of old age sooner than me. What’s with the obsession people have over age. News flash, Jayne, we both crew a rickety old ship that would fall out of the sky without Kaylee. We face down the same damned bullets every job. I’m more likely to die young than you are to die of old age. Feed me another reason to shoot down.”

“You could, couldn’t you.” Jayne couldn’t think of another reason, not with her pressed against him full body the way she was.

“Hell yes I could. Who said I was looking long term anyway?” Her hands were wandering slightly, but her words were as angry as before. “Just because visiting your Ma has you thinking about babies doesn’t mean my mind is on anything but cheap, plentiful sex.”

He stared down at her in the dark. “But…”

“But what, Jayne? But I’m a sweet little child who shouldn’t think like this?” She laughed. “You know better than that. I’m a gorram spacer. I visit bars and sex random locals. You’ve seen me do it.”

He knew she was right. She’d even asked him to be her safety the first time.

“Gorramit, get out of my head. You can’t be casual like that with crew. I’ve seen it lots of times. It just doesn’t work.” It was also one of his most basic life rules. One he was getting damned close to tossing away.

“Not even just once?” Her leg was suddenly up by his waist, propped on the fence behind him.

“Ta ma de.” He picked her up bodily and set her down about two feet away. “If you think I’d be satisfied with just once, your mind reading ain’t worth a piss.”

“But…” It was her turn to fall silent.

“It's just better not to open that problem up.” His voice felt raw and he felt sure he was gonna regret refusing her.

“So I’m to either decide I’m serious or leave off?” She frowned.

“Just leave off.” He pleaded.

“No.”

“Whadda you mean no?”

“I mean, no, the traditional refusal to comply.” She gave him a Look. “Living together is going to become hell with all of this unresolved tension between us. It would be bad enough if it was one sided, but we both know it’s not.”

Jayne took a deep ragged breath. She was right. He knew she was right.

“I’m going home.” River announced. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She hopped over the fence into the lane beyond.

“Wait.” Jayne followed her. “I’ll walk you back to the ship.”

She nodded and let him accompany her down the lane.

“How does it feel to be home again?” She asked after a dozen silent steps.

“You ain’t just gonna read that outa my head?”

“You are being deliberately difficult.” She scowled up at him through the darkness. “I am attempting to make civil conversation unrelated to our undiminished mutual attraction. I didn‘t ask you to walk me home.”

“Oh, sorry. I…” He considered her question. “Everything is the same and different. Don’t rightly know what to make of it.”

“Do you want to stay?” She asked softly.

He thought that over for a long time. River watched the ideas form and dispel in his brain as they walked.

“I wouldn’t mind visiting more often.” Was what finally left his mouth. “Fifteen years was too long.”

River nodded. “This is a nice place.”

“But my job and my life are with Serenity. She’s my home now.” He said firmly.

River let them into the ship. “Are you coming in?”

Jayne’s breath caught, she looked real shiny outlined from behind by the lights of the ship. If he went in, he'd be in her bunk within ten minutes. Mistake.

“No.” He said gruffly. “I got a party to go back to.”

They shut the doors between them and Jayne leaned against the hull for a while, getting his breath and his body under control. He was likely to give in. He knew it. She must know it too.

He banged his head against the hull. Once. Ouch.

She would hurt him in the end, tear him into little shreds. That’s what happened when crewmates sexed. One of them got hurt. It weren’t gonna be her if he had a say in it.

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