Artistic Pretender

Title: Immanent Demise
Series Title: Wandering Home
Author: FabledFigment
Disclaimer: There is no original content, except for the original content. All Hail Joss. Not a character death.
Timeline: Post BDM by about three years.
Rating: R
Series Rating: NC-17

Previous

*

Note: Somewhere along the line the fandom has decided Jayne’s middle name is Michael. As far as I know, there is nothing in cannon to justify this. If anyone happens to know who first used it, I’d be interested to know.

*

Mal blinked when he saw River kitted out like Jayne on a rough job.

“I’m ready.” She announced in a tone only slightly lower than her normal voice.

“Alright.” Mal said, sounding stunned. “Let’s go.”

People watching them walk to the bar where they were to meet their client had no trouble picking out which of them was the deadliest.

River walked a pace or two behind. She kept her hands loose and by her sides. Her eyes were constantly moving, seeking possible threats, ambushes and places to take cover.

River was also the only one who noticed Jayne trailing them. Frankly she was glad of it.

Instead of abandoning them, he’d taken up the position of rear guard. And no, that was not a mental pun for the way he kept half an eye on her ass as she walked.

They had no trouble reaching the bar. Mal made contact, River stood at his shoulder, actively watching the whole room.

“What’s with her?” Their contact said uneasily, breaking off what he‘d been saying about the job.

Mal looked up at River. “Ex-military.” He explained. “A bit twitchy. Good shot, though.”

“You’re a little more conspicuous than we’d like.” The second man said.

“At ease.” Mal said.

River snapped to the more relaxed military posture. Feet apart, hands behind her… incidentally that much closer to whipping out Tracy.

River let a disconcerting grin spread across her face.

Jayne slid in and took a place at the bar, doing a better job of looking inconspicuous than River was.

Zoë saw him in her less overt scan of the room.

“Bao mei, why don’t you go get yourself a drink?” Zoë suggested. “Consider yourself off duty for the time being.”

River nodded once, tapped Mal on the shoulder and held out a hand.

Mal scowled up at her, but gave her enough coin for a drink or two.

“Xie xie, sir.” River smirked. “Pleasure to meet you fine gentlemen.”

She swaggered over to the bar, mimicking Jayne’s stride but giving it a decidedly feminine sway.

River monitored the two contact’s emotions as she left. Mission successful. They were intimidated enough not to go all betrayal-y later. They were also convinced the crew could pull off the job. Mal shouldn’t have any trouble at all.

River slid onto the stool right next to Jayne, several feet from the closest local. Zoë’s anxiety evened out when she saw River and Jayne together.

River laid her money down on the bar. “Beer.” She told the barkeep. “Cheap, local, pale if you have it.”

“Yes, ma’am.” The man reached for a glass.

River looked into his thoughts enough to know he was trying to read her shirt. She grinned at him.

Jayne, who already knew what her shirt said, was eyeing her too. At the same time, he was trying to keep an eye on the meeting.

River was watching the table through the mirror over the bar and with her extra senses.

The barman set River’s beer down and made change. River left the money out as if she was planning to drink it all up.

She tipped her glass back, chugging down half at once.

“Yep,” River flashed a grin at the man behind the bar. “That’ll do.” Her tongue shot out and licked moisture from her lip.

She turned to Jayne.

“Hey there, handsome.” She drawled. “What’s your name?”

River was fairly certain Jayne would pay her back for messing with him, but those lust-spikes he was already generating, without specific provocation, were too pretty not to play with.

Jayne swallowed. He could see the teasing light in her eye. “Michael.” He finally said.

“You from around here, Michael?” She leaned towards him, balancing herself with a hand on his thigh.

Mal and Zoë were almost done.

“Originally.” Jayne drew the word out into more syllables than it needed, trying to ignore the little circles her finger was making on his leg.

She leaned even closer, emboldened by her false persona. “You wanna get skin to skin later, Michael?” She asked in a low, teasing voice. “I ain’t from here and I won’t be here long.”

Jayne’s mouth was too dry to speak. His emotions spiked wildly, but his anger was growing.

“We’re done here.” Mal said behind her.

“Go on then.” River advised. “Y’all said I was off duty. I’m having a fine time here with my new friend Michael.” Her voice raised as she said the name he gave her.

She nodded towards Jayne who was looking more than a little panicked.

“Don’t think on me another minute.” She insisted sweetly.

“Fine.” Mal wagged a finger at her. “Just don’t think I’m springing your ass from the lockup again.”

River pouted a little. “Sir, yes, sir.” She drawled insolently, saluting Mal with her beer glass in hand.

“Are you sure we should leave her here, sir?” Zoë was worried.

“Looks like ‘Michael’ here will take real good care of our precious flower.” Mal said. “He’ll get her back to us in one piece.”

By now, Zoë had definitely noticed the little hand on Jayne’s thigh. Mal was oblivious as usual.

“If you say so, sir.” Zoë agreed.

River knew for a fact that ‘River-sitting’ was Mal’s idea of a punishment for Jayne bailing out on the job. She was a little put out by it, most of the time she was able to leave and return to the ship on her own.

She backed off of Jayne a little, putting both hands on her glass. Panic hum wasn’t nearly as fun as lust spikes.

“Say,” River drawled as soon as the others were gone. “Do you know of anywhere I could do a little live fire practice?” She reached up to caress Tracy. “You have to use your skills if you want to keep them.”

River fought back a giggle. There was that lust again.

“I… no. I’ve been gone too long.” He swallowed hard. “Fifteen years.”

River wondered idly what would happen if she really pushed, really encouraged those lust spikes instead of just torturing him once in a while. He never acknowledged his attraction.

Today’s conversation with the ‘skin to skin’ comment was the boldest she'd ever been. She was a little surprised that she wished he would take her up on it. She sipped at her beer. She wasn’t an innocent, despite the firm refusal of the rest of the crew to acknowledge it.

Could be fun once in a while. She chortled inwardly, be the first girl on your block to bed the ape-man. He was certainly handsome enough for it.

“We might could figure out where we could shoot guns if we talk to some people.” Jayne tore his eyes away from the hand on Tracy. “Wanna try?”

“Alright then.” River finished her beer and gathered up her money. She took a quick glance at what she had left and calculated a tip.

When they left, River could feel the relief of the other patrons, it was because of her this time. That was minorly disconcerting. She didn’t usually cause that sort of tension. More often, people drastically underestimated her.

River glanced up at Jayne. He was eyeing her sideways.

They were halfway down the street before he spoke. “You shouldn’t oughta say things like that if you don’t mean them.” He said gruffly.

River gave him her most innocent expression. “Things like what?”

He huffed. “Like you said back there when you were pretending to be picking me up.” He winced. “Someone who thought you were serious might take advantage.”

“Someone like you?” She pressed.

“Yes, gorramit,” His jaw was tense. “Someone like me. You shouldn’t play like that.”

River watched him curiously. “What if I wasn’t playing.”

Jayne stopped still and gaped down at her. “You were. We both know you were. You had to be.”

Panic again. Not humming, roaring.

River looked into his eyes for a long moment then turned away without commenting.

“River…”

She didn’t look back and he soon caught up.

“I find I have an intense need to shoot live rounds at something.” She said, not looking up at him.

Jayne caught her arm and hauled her around to look at him.

“Little girls who play with fire get burned.” He told her harshly.

Jayne flinched when Gloria entered his field of vision, but he looked River in the eye.

“Do you think I would regret shooting you?” River asked evenly.

She wasn’t sure if she should be surprised that his lust spiked off her charts when she threatened him with his own immanent demise.

Jayne dropped her arm and she uncocked Gloria before returning the gun to her holster.

They continued to stare at each other, oblivious to the rest of the street.

“Well, hell.” Boomed a big voice from halfway across the street and getting closer. “I’ll be damned if it ain’t Jayne Michael Cobb. Are you still inciting to violence, boy?”

Their intense eye contact broke as they both swung around to face the source of the voice. Namely the local sheriff.

River was slightly embarrassed to realize she’d just threatened a man with a loaded pistol in the middle of a crowded street. Now that she wasn’t focused so tightly on Jayne she could feel the curious and apprehensive people around them.

“Beth Jason Walker? You old varmint, when did they make you sheriff?” Jayne’s voice boomed back.

The other man laughed. “Only about ten years ago.”

The two men were right next to each other now. They paused, River could feel their uncertainty.

“Hell,” Jayne shook his head. “You’re all respectable and shit.”

Beth Jason grinned. “Knowing you, you ain’t.”

Jayne laughed. “Never will be.”

River noted the moment when the uncertainty broke and the two men reached forward for a back thumping, rib cracking hug.

“How the hell have you been, J Mike?” Beth Jason grinned.

“Better than worse.” Jayne ran a hand over his head. “This is River, she’s part of the crew I fly with.”

The sheriff tipped his hat to River. “Is this salty old dog bothering you, ma’am? Can’t hardly knock sense into that thick skull of his, but I could lock him up for you.”

“No.” River said calmly, noting with interest that the man was serious. “I am not bothered by his presence. I always threaten my friends at gunpoint.”

Both men eyed her uneasily. They exchanged glances. Jayne shook his head slightly and shrugged.

River grinned and continued. “It is also impolite to have someone jailed in the middle of a friendly discussion of possible sexual intimacy.”

Jayne groaned. His friend looked between them.

“I’d hate to be your enemy if you regularly point guns at your friends.” The man said.

“My enemies are dead before they feel threatened.” River deadpanned. Then she grinned. “I have never actually come close to shooting Jayne.”

“Hey, BJ, where does a body go for target practice these days?” He cleared his throat. “It ain’t good for her finger to get this itchy.”

“The old quarry. The militia trains there twice a week.” BJ clapped Jayne on the shoulder. “Check in with Old Man Murphy on your way in. He keeps track of the traffic and will let you know if anyone else is there. He’ll sell you some nice targets too.”

Jayne nodded. “Thanks.”

“Does your Ma know you’re in world?” BJ asked.

“Not yet.” Jayne grimaced. “Sue Patrick still screens out my WAVEs. Makes me wish I had the coin to buy Ma her own unit.”

BJ nodded. “Out of my jurisdiction, I’m afraid. Go to see her first, J Mike. She’ll be mighty glad to see you.”

Jayne’s eyes got distant. “Yeah, I know.”

“Well, I’m on duty now, but let’s meet up for a pint before you go. We’ll talk over old times. It sure takes me back to see you again, J Mike.”

“I go by Jayne now.” He said uneasily.

Beth Jason blinked at him. “I’ll be damned. Did you grow up or something?”

Jayne shook his head. “At some point it was just easier.” He shrugged.

“Huh.” BJ turned back to River. “I run a peaceful town, ma’am. Please don’t go shooting folk without just cause. Except maybe Jayne Michael. Sometimes with him breathing could almost be just cause.”

“He would have to annoy me a great deal before I caused him irreparable damage.” River’s lips twitched.

BJ looked between them. “Donno, J Mike, seems to me you’ve met your match. I’ll see you later.”

The sheriff patted Jayne’s back again and walked on down the street.

“I should take you back to the ship.” Jayne said quietly. “We can go shooting after I see Ma.”

“I’d like to meet your mother.” She told him.

Jayne flinched. “No.”

“Please?”

“Why would ya even want to?” He was scowling.

River pursed her lips. She didn’t think ‘I just do’ would be enough answer.

“Captain won’t let us back out.” River shrugged which caused a faint clattering sound. “We can’t go shooting if we can‘t leave the ship.” She looked like such a little girl begging that Jayne felt his resolve fade away.

River heald back a smile at how easily he'd given in. He really did trust her, that felt good.

“Come on,” He said curtly. “Let’s don’t just stand here. We need a bit of transport. Do you ride?”

“Ride horses?” River was surprised. “I used to.” Like everything she did, she’d been good at it.

“Good. Let’s see what the stable has for rent.”

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