Artistic Pretender

Title: Unexpected Familiarity
Series Title: Wandering Home
Author: FabledFigment
Disclaimer: There is no original content, except for the original content. All Hail Joss.
Timeline: Post BDM with sufficient ‘growing-up’ time for River.
Series Rating: NC-17

Previous

*

Jayne paused at the top of the ramp, blinking at the brightness. Mal was ahead of him, already outside. Zoë pushed impatiently past him to stand next to the captain.

Crazy was the one who noticed his hesitation. She stopped by him, placing her hand on his forearm.

“Familiarity approaches unexpectedly. Everything is different.” She shivered. “Everything is the same.”

Jayne almost didn’t hear her softly murmured words, but he glanced down at her, still frowning slightly.

“Mal?” Jayne called. “Are we on Corinth? Are we in Webberville on Corinth?”

Mal squinted up at him and nodded.

“Why didn’t someone warn me we were headed to Corinth?” Jayne took a step backwards.

Mal scowled at him and Zoë shook her head.

“I can’t, Mal.” Jayne said. “Just go on without me.”

“Is this a repeat of Canton, Jayne?” Mal might have looked amused if he weren’t so annoyed. “Are we gonna find a statue of you here too?”

“Don’t think so, Mal.” Jayne turned on his heel. “I just can’t do a job here. I need to go WAVE someone.”

Mal turned to Zoë. “Did I or did I not explain the job out loud several times?”

“Yes, sir.” She confirmed. “You did, sir.”

“Didn’t I say Corinth out loud more than once?” He pressed.

“Yes, sir.” Zoë repeated.

River was looking up and down the street in fascination. “Jayne will not relent and should not be pushed.” Her grin was sudden and disconcerting. “Captain, wait here. Zoë, I need you. Never fear, the delay will be brief.”

“Zoë?” Mal was practically whining.

“We’re still a bit early, sir.” His second said. “I think she might have a plan.”

River nodded, picking at the skirt of her dress. “I need to rethink my attire. We won’t be long.”

River changed first. She borrowed a few things from Zoë, but pulled one or two unexpected items out of her own closet. She brushed and braided her hair, lacing in a strip of leather borrowed from Zoë.

Then she sent Zoë to placate Mal and went in search of Jayne. He was in the cockpit, trying to place the call he'd mentioned. The screen was asking him to hold while the connection was authenticated.

“Jayne, I need to borrow some of your girls if you’re bowing out of this job.” River said firmly. She knew he might refuse on principle if she sounded young or crazy while she asked. In the three years since Miranda, she’d ceased to be either. Well, usually.

Jayne didn’t even look up from the hold screen he was staring at.

“What?” He grunted.

“Guns, Jayne. I need guns. I want to take Tracy, Marta and Gloria on an outing.” She knew the names of all his guns. He thought loudly at them in a nonstop stream of compliments while he was cleaning them.

“Tracy?” Jayne frowned, glanced at her for the smallest moment, then pounded on the console next to the screen.

“I’ll need plenty of ammo for Tracy.” River made a crossing motion across her chest that Jayne missed because he was fully focused on the WAVE that wasn’t happening.

“You ain’t taking Tracy out unless you’ve proven to me you can handle her.” He said absently. “Ain’t like you’re gonna need her to meet clients. Why don’t you just take something from the general armory?”

“Because I want Tracy, and I don’t have time to clean up one of the ship’s guns.” River rolled her eyes, and tried a more entreating tone of voice. “I won’t have to shoot her, Jayne. We’re going to a minor meet at the beginning of a job. No one will fire a single round.”

“That ain’t the point.” He harrumphed.

The screen in front of him crackled to life and he held up a hand to stall her talking.

“I’m sorry, sir, apparently she is unavailable to take your call at this time. May I relay a message?” The speaker wore the uniform of a connection operator.

“Yeah, tell that damned hun dan at the Amity General Store that its criminal to block incoming calls.” Jayne hit the off button and the screen went black.

“Jayne?” River tapped her toe impatiently, hands at her hips.

“What?” He swung around in the chair and looked at her for the first time. “Gah!” He gaped at her changed appearance. His brain froze, but his body clamored its appreciation of hers.

“Guns, Jayne.” She rolled her eyes again. He was so predictably male. She needed to be firm, she reminded herself as she pushed his reaction out of her brain. “I need to borrow guns for the job.”

River knew exactly what was going through his mind. As much as he tried not to, Jayne found her very attractive. Oh, he’d never say it out loud. He didn’t even make crude remarks about her the way he did every other woman he ever met. His conscious mind insisted she was still a little girl, even though she was twenty.

He liked her new outfit. In place of her usual flowing sundress she wore a pair of Zoë’s old leather pants, the armor-reinforced kind. They were big on her, but she’d cinched them tight with a belt and tucked the cuffs into her boots so that the extra length wouldn’t trip her while she was trying to be intimidating.

On top, she wore a baby doll t-shirt with “Don’t fuck with me” written across it in large Chinese characters. That was one of the things from her own closet. It fit her perfectly, that is to say tightly. She’d been of two minds about wearing it where the crew could see, but it fit the character she wanted to assume for this meeting.

Her face was boldly painted too. Heavy on the eyeliner. She used several of her former schoolmates as models for her artwork.

“If you insist on target practice before we go, Mal will be even more annoyed with you than he is now.” River knew as she said the words, that Jayne wasn’t quite hearing them. He was still processing the data his eyes presented him.

River couldn’t resist, she loved to mess with him. She propped her right boot up on the co-pilot’s console and fiddled with the buckles. Jayne took the presented opportunity and stared appreciatively at her legs. He especially liked the way the loose leather molded tightly to her curves when she stretched it like this. She could feel his eyes on her and forced herself not to shudder.

River almost laughed out loud. Jayne was so predictable. She loved to provoke him because he got so deliciously spiky. However, this was the wrong time. Mal and Zoë were waiting for her.

Reluctantly she moved her foot back to the floor and set her fists on her hips. “Your delay is becoming annoying.”

“Guns.” Jayne repeated.

“Tracy, Marta and Gloria.” River said firmly. “Grenades, maybe a few knives too.” She added as almost an afterthought.

Jayne stood shakily. It was mostly easy to think of her as a little girl in those baggy sundresses she favored, but looking like this? Not so easy. Especially in that lust provoking t-shirt.

Keeping her mentally in her place as the crew’s youngest sister was important. Jayne Cobb only had a few firm rules about women. Never sex one that ain’t willing, and leave your crew alone.

River stamped her foot. “Focus, Jayne.” She demanded. “Give me guns, knives and enough ammunition to make a cross over my chest.”

Jayne nodded mutely. That would obscure the distracting message sprawled across her breasts. Hmm, breasts… No. Ammo. He stood.

She followed him into his bunk, still amused at his level of internal turmoil.

Not one of his hastily squelched daydreams had ever involved strapping weapons onto her. He gave her a boot-sheathed knife, another to put at her back, two decoy grenades - she didn’t need real bombs, Marta and Gloria, one for each hip. No problem there, he wore them for her sometimes…

“Tracy? Are you sure about Tracy?” Jayne still didn’t like the idea. She’d had some practice with a lot of his weapons, but the big assault guns didn’t come out to play much.

“Do I look intimidating to you, Jayne?” River crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently.

“Uh, yeah.” He mumbled, his eyes sweeping over her.

She gave him a look that made him even more intimidated.

“Will I look intimidating to the client?” She asked slowly.

Jayne looked her over as objectively as possible. He sighed. “Apologize to Mal for me? I can’t run afoul of the law here. Anywhere else in the ‘Verse, but…”

“Not in your hometown?” She said sympathetically.

He wasn’t surprised she knew. Gorram reader. The thought didn’t have nearly the venom he intended it to. He had a hard time getting mad about that these days.

“Yeah.” Jayne didn’t meet her eyes, he picked up Tracy instead. The machine gun was almost bigger than River was. “Show me how you handle her.” He scooped up a small strip of her ammo too.

In about two seconds River had the gun properly loaded and positioned. She pointed it at the corner of his bunk. She'd had plenty of practice handling guns larger than she was. The Academy had seen to that.

“Huh, alright.” He nodded, the care and precision she used turned him on as much as the clothes.

She expelled the round from the chamber. “Shoulder strap.” She demanded. “Target practice after the meet.”

Jayne helped her put on the bandoleers and adjusted the strap for her. He did his level best to avoid touching her while he did it. River found that hilarious. She slung Tracy across her back.

“Show me you can get to her like that.” Jayne requested.

River rolled her eyes again. She shifted almost instinctively. In mere moments she had Tracy in her hands again, bandoleer unhooked and ready to load.

“Satisfied?”

“Not nearly.” Jayne said under his breath, but he nodded. “Go on.”

She readjusted her arsenal.

Jayne watched her climb out of his bunk. He sat heavily on his bed and dragged his hand down his face.

Crewing the same ship as her was getting harder and harder. If she kept on like this, what would Mal need him for?

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